The Incredible Disappearing Beard

This is my husband, J. It’s OK – you can ogle him – he’s ridiculously good-looking.

HOWEVER.

Two weeks ago, my knight-in-shining-cargo shorts departed for a week-long fishing trip in Canada. He was with his father, grandfather, brother, and assorted uncles and male cousins. Among the many competitions they held (biggest this, longest that, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination…), they also thought up a beard-growing contest.

And my man? He’s a winner. This is seven days of effort, folks, just seven days:

Don’t ask about his face. There was a horrific fishing accident.

And then came the Week of Hairy Horror. Discontent with the itchiness of his face, but loathe to let his prize-winning follicles go gentle into that good night, J decreed that the last week of June 2013 would forever be remembered as that time he did unforgivable things to his chin. I submit for your judgment:

Monday - the goatee

Monday – The Goatee’d Smirker

Tuesday - The Mongolian Warlord

Tuesday – The Mongolian Warlord

Wednesday – the Self-Satisfied Selleck

Thursday – The “We Forgot To Take A Photo But MS Paint Is A Handy Program”

Friday – The “Jennie, I’m Sorry, I Had To Get That Damn Thing Off My Face. Can We Just Re-visit Tuesday?”

And with that, we’re back to our regularly scheduled good-looking-ness. And lightsabers. Because never. Not. Lightsabers. Seriously – this is J at work.

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38 responses to “The Incredible Disappearing Beard

  1. Tuesday is by far the best. Kudos to your hubby for letting you post these online.

    Oh and what job lets you play with light sabers? And where can I send my resume?? 😉

  2. Yeah sorry that was me earlier. I’m cringing looking at some of these pictures. Remember when we went out for dinner during “Mongolian Warlord Day” and the waiter kept looking at me funny? I thought he was just being weird until we got back in the car and noticed that I looked like an extra in a period film.

  3. My boyfriend did the shaving in stages thing last fall! My favorite was the Civil War colonel look.

    He has a beard again now… That’s all I’ll say about it.

    • Hahaha. OK, then, I won’t ask for details. But I do have to query… how do you stand the prickliness when you kiss? It was driving me up a wall!

      • I really don’t care for it. Personally, I’m anti-beard. And all this stubble, 5 o-clock shadow nonsense, sure it’s nice to look at, but it’s not functional!

  4. I’m with Helena – the Selleck is my fave. But I must fully admit that I loathe facial hair. Though, on J, it looks pretty good. Still, I like him better clean-shaven. (Like my opinion counts for jack squat…) 😉

  5. My hubby has been sporting the beard since a month before our wedding so about May 2012. I happen to love it on him, which is surprising, but if he did decide to shave it off, I am going to try to convince him in this direction.

    I love the Mongolian Warlord. Best one ever.

  6. ha ha ha ha I wish I had some kind of facial hair blogging award/badge so I could bestow it upon this post.

    Wait. What the f—. Why don’t I have some kind of facial hair blogging award/badge so I can bestow it upon this post?

    • I second that motion! Go on, make my month. <– That was said in a John Wayne accent. I think.

      Alternately, I could design some sort of Kickstarter-style campaign in which people submit artwork for the award logo. In return, I could send them the "deluxe package" of J-beard-photos. (There were some that weren't fit for general public consumption.)

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