21 Things I Would Do If I Weren’t Doing Other Things

  1. Buy a farm and breed pygmy goats. (Aussa, I’m looking at you!)
  2. Dehydrate ALL THE FOODS!!!
  3. Learn Italian.
  4. Make homemade ice cream – a new flavor every week.
  5. Hike the Appalachian Trail.
  6. Write that magic realism novel I’ve only gotten through two chapters of in 6+ years. It’s still a great idea, dammit!
  8. Watch those movies people make faces about when I say I haven’t seen them: Pulp Fiction, Trainspotting, (Helena, now I’m looking at you!), Top Gun, A Wonderful Life, etc. etc. etc.)
  9. Open a chocolate shop. More on this in a later post – it almost happened!
  10. Paint my nails a new color every day.
  11. Actually train my three dogs. Like, at all. Even a little bit.
  12. Build a bookcase.
  13. Visit all of YOU! Bloggy Tour 2014, y’all.
  14. Work on a house with Habitat for Humanity.
  15. Finally water ski for more than four continuous seconds, for once in my freaking life.
  16. Go to this Folk School and learn how to make ALL THE CRAFTS!!!
  17. Dye my hair purple. (Heyyyyyy, Daile!)
  18. Have an entire spa day – the works. Wrap me in seaweed? Sure, why not?
  19. Learn how to fly planes. Preferably ones without snakes.
  20. Climb Mount Everest. (No, really.)
  21. Send more truly excellent mail.

So… what about you?

P.S. “MORE GOATS PLEASE JENNIE!” — OK, OK, I give the people what they want:


118 responses to “21 Things I Would Do If I Weren’t Doing Other Things

  1. I would write. And write and write. Never enough time to write.
    Learn a language.
    Do a LOT of charity work.
    Get really good on the guitar.
    Have another kid.
    Bake for people all the time.
    Entertain more.
    Spend several months at a yoga ashram – preferably in India.
    Visit you, Jennie Saia. You’re first on my bloggy tour.

  2. Travel ALL the countries, for sure.
    Write some more.
    BLOG more.
    Turn my cardmaking hobby into a business.
    Learn to sail.
    Brush up on my French.
    Read more.
    Take more photos.
    Get a golden retriever.
    Go to advertising school.
    Live in jeans.
    And read more blogs…like yours. x

    • You make cards?! So does my mom! I keep trying to get her to start a YouTube channel about it.

      And I would live in jeans, too. It’s Spring Break at my university this week, so I am rocking them out while the students and faculty are away!

      Also… you’re so sweet. xoxo

  3. Love it!! you should totally dye your hair purple – apparently it’s in fashion NOW (I’m looking at you Nicole Richie and Ireland Baldwin… Copy cats) Oh the things I would do if I could do anything… Sigh.

    • When I’m working from home (Here’s looking at you, several years down the road!) I’m gonna do it. Don’t tell J, though! He’s a bit fatigued from me doing dramatic things with my hair.

  4. Travel more – you can never travel enough.
    Learn how to play the didgeridoo.
    Get citation for disturbing the peace by playing the didgeridoo.
    Get a definitive answer on whether or not anal retentive is hyphenated.
    Play video games – apparently this is fun. I should check it out but who has time?
    Become a private investigator. I’m good at hiding things, I should be good at finding things.
    Play in a band again – if only for fun. I miss it.
    Run a cafΓ©/homeless shelter.
    Drive. Just get into the car and drive. I love the road.
    Make movies. Maybe just short little films. Arty stuff (not porn, perverts).
    Eat sushi in Japan.
    Get married in Vegas by Elvis.
    Watch more Looney Tunes.
    Read more. I still haven’t read more than the first Game of Thrones book.
    Make new friends and spend more time with old ones.

  5. Great list, Jennie. The first thing on my list would be to make a list. Ha ha. I don’t have one of these. I would just happy just to travel to other places, at least to Europe. I’d like to finish a book, too. Buttermilk is so cute and lively!

  6. Learn Spanish
    Travel to England
    Then Germany
    Then Scandinavia
    Dye parts of my hair blue
    Take writing classes
    Write even more
    Go to the gym for a few hours a day
    Take ballet classes

    I’m on my phone, so no idea how many that is πŸ™‚

    I do love your list!

  7. Learn to sew
    Try ALL the vegetarian recipes
    Read more
    No, really, read A LOT more.
    Did I mention read more?
    Move the furniture around once a month
    Take my daughter to Chicago

    Loved you list. If you ever need a second set of hands for that bookcase, let me know!

    • Are you vegetarian, or just veggie-curious?

      Really good cookbooks have parts that read almost like story-time.

      Where would you go in Chicago, specifically? Over Memorial Day I’m heading to the race track at Arlington!

  8. I’m totally with you on numbers 2, 5, 7, and 18. [In fact, if you ever get serious about the AT, look me up. For reals.]

    I’m not down with 10, 17, or 20 – but I definitely want to hear about 9! And as for 13 – you’re welcome at our house any time. πŸ™‚ (And 19 made me laugh out loud. Every time anyone mentions this movie I almost audibly laugh, because immediately I hear Samuel L’s voice in my head. So funny.)

  9. Aw!!! Buttermilk made it onto the post! I seriously watch that video… a lot. I had a minor breakdown over the weekend and after a heart to heart with the boyfran he showed me that vid like 4 times in a row. Happiness, every time.
    I love this list– I may steal the idea. Hike the Appalachian Trail, swoon! I nearly did this with my friend L a few years ago! She and some of her med school friends were going for like 12 days. I eventually dropped out of the planning, total regret. Must put this back on the list.

  10. I’d read ALL THE BOOKS (especially the ones I haven’t read while I’ve been busy watching True Blood and The Walking Dead and all the other shows I shouldn’t watch). Earn lots of money. Buy some land and build a sustainable oasis on the edge of town. Maybe learn Spanish in my free time… I love your #19. Fly planes. Yes. How many lifetimes do we need to do all that, you think? πŸ™‚

  11. I have already completed my bucket list . . . now all I want to do is sit on my porch smoke an occasional joint and bullshit with the local rednecks who come around for a free beer . . .

    AND . . . life is really good doing nothing, but watching the birds in the feeders . . . and playing with the dogs.

  12. You should book a flight to New York City. It might not be to your liking–it makes a lot of folks sick, and with good reason–but I think everyone should see it at least once. It’s a glorious traffic wreck. Guap, his bride and I will meet you at LaGuardia. I know a place with a lovely view.

    I would learn how to play a guitar and set about breaking the heart of every girl who ever left me for a guitar player. Old wounds cut deepest.

    • I spent a glorious weekend in NYC with my aunt when I was 12. She’s a flight attendant, and had a place out in Queens. We saw a Broadway show, at in a mafia restaurant, walked for miles, and petted some of the horses around Central Park.

      But I’m a sucker for a good view – we’ll make it happen one day!

      Also, you and J have the exact same resentment of boys with acoustic guitars.

      • Sensitive singer-songwriters who play acoustic guitars, like Dan Fogelberg, for instance, make me wonder if I would ever bother listening to music again.

        Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
        Higher than any bird ever flew
        Longer than there’ve been stars up in the Heavens
        I’ve been in love with you

        BARF. Are you kidding me?! That was a huge hit?! BARF. BARF.

        • Songs like that always make me want to say, “Prove it!” How the HELL have you loved me since before human beings existed?

          There’s a Britney Spears crap-song about dancing until the world ends. I like to scream at the radio: “I’d like to see you dance on lava, bitch!”

          …have I mentioned lately that I’m a completely well-adjusted person? Totally.

  13. Read, Read, Read, Eat, Read, Read, Read, Music, Read, Read, Read, Eat, Read, Read, Read, Music, Read, Read, Read, Eat, Read, Read, Read, Music, Read, Read, Read, Eat, Read, Read, Read, Music, Read, Read, Read, Eat, Read, Read, Read, Music, Read, Read, Read,

  14. Ooh Pulp Fiction. I love that movie and was totally obsessed with it when I was a teenager. And purple hair! I’ve been admiring photos of rich and famous ladies with hair in unnatural colors and wondering why I gave up on that dream when I was 19.

    My list would be: write the books I want to write already dammit, learn a visual art skill like painting or pottery, do more yoga, take my dog for longer walks instead of getting impatient with him when he decides to spend five minutes sniffing the same blade of grass, travel to pretty much anywhere I haven’t been before, finally finish the process of unpacking and organizing my house (which I moved into over a year ago), plant a garden and do some landscaping in my backyard so it’s actually an enjoyable place to spend time.

    • I think a runner with purple hair would get extreme amounts of cheers along the course!

      It pleases me that we both say “dammit” in regards to our unwritten masterpieces. πŸ™‚

      Last but not least, I once read that jerking a dog away from something s/he’s smelling is essentially the same as grabbing a book out of someone’s hands while they are reading. It’s reallllly hard not to do it (I have three dogs to walk!), but I try. Unless it’s raining. Or really cold. Then hurry it up, fur-children!

      • Oh, that makes me feel even worse about it. But honestly, I think that if I didn’t “lead” him, he’d spend the rest of his life on the same patch of grass.

        Three dogs – you understand this better than I do.

  15. I would:

    Travel ALL the places with a camera in hand.
    Manually develop all the film that came from traveling all the places.
    Visit so many people: guildies, old friends, blogging peeps. So many.
    Take another history trip to the East Coast.
    Get a pool installed and swim for exercise all the time.
    Read far more than I do now.
    Play in a community band/ensemble.
    Adopt a cat.
    Lots of wine tasting.
    Learn to fish.
    Grow all of my own veggies.
    Eat at so many delicious restaurants.

    I think that’s all, at least for now. πŸ™‚

      • Probably both, but film for sure. I have a Rolleiflex that has not had enough use. πŸ™‚

        A little bit of everything? πŸ˜› I went on a history tour in high school with the junior and senior classes, which was AMAZING, and covered American history mostly, went to Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and then spent a week in D.C. We got to visit Gettysburg, which although it’s basically an empty field, it was eerie and cool to be there. I’d just love to go back. πŸ™‚ That trip is also what spurred my interest in photography in the first place, so returning with the cameras I own now would be heaven.

        • It’s amazing how experiences from that age stay with us. I have more clear, defining memories from high school and college than any other time in my life – before or since. I got to take a similar trip to the southwest (Already being from the East Coast!) and the landscape, colors, and activities we did are etched on my brain.

          • That’s really true. And it’s true what they say, it’s the time in your life that even though you’re ‘broke’, it’s the most money and time you have in your life. Kind of amazing when you think about it. It’s such a formative experience. My family never traveled much, so high school was where I took all of my trips, from the East Coast, to Texas, to Hawaii.

  16. I would join you on the Appalachian Trail, although in my version I would run/walk 10-15 miles every day and crash in a delightful AirBNB with perfect hosts with a spectacular wine collection every night. Because I like to keep my dreams realistic…

    • Ummm, wasn’t that implied? πŸ˜‰

      That sounds like absolutely heaven. I’d add that each host must have at least one charming, friendly dog for me to cuddle.

    • And whereabouts do you live, again? πŸ˜‰ My partner J has gotten to fly a plane for a few minutes, as a completely untrained co-pilot. Even those few seconds of just controlling her while she’s in the air would be amazing. Do you have places you make regular trips? Is flying your job, your passion, or both? So many questions!

      • I do make regular trips and it is a passion that’s also about to become a job, too. If I lived closer I would gladly take you up – I’m in Canada – but it’s always great to meet someone who’s as interested in it as I am. πŸ™‚

  17. Aww. It’s pretty sad that we all carry around lists like this of stuff we want to do. We should have a state sponsored “enrichment week”, a paid holiday where you get time to cross as many things as you can off your bucket list.

    That goat is an asshole. By the way.

    • THAT IS A GREAT IDEA. Move to the US and run for office and I will vote for you. (It will be an uphill battle akin to climbing Mount Doom.)

      And yeah, Buttermilk is a total jerk. I still love him/her/it. (Does the devil have a gender?)

      • I can’t run for office, I’m sure you wouldn’t want a president that everyone kept on asking to repeat himself just to hear a British accent. There’s only so many crumpet jokes a man can take, y’know.

  18. Jennie, you’ve sent me off on a whole “goat tangent” and I may never come back. Just too freakin’ funny! I grew up on a farm and one year my Mom adopted a tiny baby goat that had lost its mom. She kept it in the house (wearing diapers) and its antics were legend. Thanks for bringing back a great memory. πŸ™‚ ~Terri

    • I initially read this as “goal tangent” and I thought, “Oh, that’s nice – Terri’s planning even more adventures.” But then I saw it correctly… and a goat tangent sounds even better!

      I will never stop wishing I had grown up on a farm. I might do it in reverse, Benjamin Button style, and spend my later years on one instead. πŸ™‚

  19. Cool idea for a post! Several of yours would be on my list, especially #5! I’m a hiker at heart. I follow any trail.

    I would definitely finish my #$%@# editing and publish for the love of god, finally.
    Then when that baby is pushed out, I’d read all the books I’ve been meaning to get to; figure out how to own an island; buy stock in Corona; move to said island. Run in the sand and become an excellent runner. Paint more. Write more. Start my own bloggers retreat (on my island). Attend yoga more. Like a lot more. Travel like a mofo. Everywhere. Have a tree house built on my island and live in it. Build and maintain an elephant reserve on my island.

    that is all.


    • I’d fix my hair and move with Beth to her island. And play with her elephants. We could bring a goat or two. I’ll drink corona while you run, Beth, and I’ll cheer really loud…cuz I’ll be drunk on Corona. So, get on it, Beth. And, BTW, yesterday was Thursday…

    • I’ve found a pretty sweet contingent of female hikers through this post. A someday reality, perhaps? Herds of writers united in the wild?

      Where can I read more about your book? That’s what I want to know!

      Also: I want a tree house. BAD. Also-also: I abhor sand.

  20. Let’s see…if those pesky adult responsibilities weren’t in my way I’d buy an RV and spend my life touring the country with my husband. Traveling with my three cats and two rats might pose a challenge though. Hmmm.

    • Welcome, Kim! You know, I always wanted to sleep in the tiny bed compartment over the driver’s seat in an old-school RV…

      I have to ask: do the rats and cats get along?

      • Kinda, sorta. Not really. One cat doesn’t care, another cat just plays with their tails, and the third cat is kind of a jerk to the rats. Interestingly (though I guess not surprisingly) it’s the youngest cat who happens to act like a kitten even though he’s almost 2 years old.

  21. I would work on having that V thing that I hear you women talking about all the time with my upper body, then I’d drink it back to a U shape after I posted a selfie of my hot V body as proof I did it. Then I’d write and volunteer at a children’s hospital and then write more and drink more and stuff.

    • Don, is this all for our “Parents Taking Naked Selfies For Children” campaign? Wait…that doesn’t sound very good. Was it “Parents Taking Naked Selfies For the Good of Our Children”? Either way, get the V. You’ll drink less beer cuz you’ll be busy with the wifey.

    • Meh. The V is good, but I’m an arms and hands girl. Edited: I saw a ballet last night, and apparently I am a muscular-legs-in-tights girl as well.

      People with Us give better hugs!

  22. Just found your site Jennie — I didn’t know I loved tiny goats until just now πŸ™‚

    My list:
    – Travel to every continent
    – Own a “compound” (not the scary kind — just a self-contained, secluded property with room to garden and raise some livestock – like tiny goats).
    – Become proficient in Spanish and move to Barcelona
    – Find a hobby I really love and parlay it into a profession.
    – Take a class every month to learn something new
    – Dance more
    – Socialize more and make new friends

      • I’m not nearly as wild as I’d like to be, Jennie!
        For example, I’d love to spend more time in Toronto – it kicks butt with all its culture and comic shops – but time and economic concerns keep confined to Niagara.

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