Spanking for Jesus

Well, this is a load of holy crap.

Here’s a glimpse from The Daily Beast into the farce known as “Christian Domestic Discipline”:

On a pain scale of one to 10, Chelsea ranks the epidural-free birth of her child as a six. Her husband’s spankings? Those are an eight.

First, he uses his hands for “warm-up” slaps. Then comes a combination of tools based on the specific infraction. The wooden spoon is the least severe; for the worst rule-breaking—like texting while driving (“It could kill me,” Chelsea admits) or moving money between accounts without his permission—she’ll be hit with something else: a hairbrush, a paddle, or a leather strap.

But this isn’t domestic abuse, Chelsea says. This is for Jesus.

According to devoted practitioners, Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) offers a “loving approach” for couples who wish to live the only lifestyle endorsed by God: a male head of household ruling his submissive wife. This takes the form of the husband creating a “quality home environment” by infantilizing  the woman he married, and treating her to a healthy dose of corporal punishment whenever she displeases him. (The sarcasm in that sentence is mine; for believers, this makes perfect sense.)

In this “discipline,” the man is the supreme being. He is infinitely wiser than the woman (obviously), and he’s also closer to God. The party line is that both spouses will make mistakes in their marriage, but the man is never punished because he can “self-correct” through prayer and contemplation. Women, however, can’t evolve without help. All wives – clearly inferior; adorable but thick-skulled – require their husbands to guide them toward purity of soul through lectures and physical pain.

One participating couple has published a “Beginner’s Packet” for the practice, which is 50 pages long and advocates that the husband address minor infractions by sending his wife to “corner time” (yes, just like in kindergarten) or making her write lines (think, “I will not disobey my Master.”) These consequences are appropriate for misdemeanors such as “speaking out of turn” and “having a bad attitude.”

If a woman commits a more serious offense (such as failing to provide dinner on time), the recommended response is to restrict her privileges, including driving, cell phone use, and socializing. (Is it just me, or is that a recipe for disaster? “Honey, you’ve angered me. Don’t reach out to anyone, or I’ll hit you even harder.”) The most dire mistakes (such as arguing a point too forcefully) require a severe spanking, and the packet  includes a handy list of tools for that purpose (plus the pros and cons of each!):

Well, I sure am glad to know this tool will “protect the spanking hand from pain”! We certainly wouldn’t want Master to suffer while he dutifully makes his wife cry. Additionally, the packet warns against offering any sort of comfort post-spanking, as aloe or ice could lessen the impact (sad pun) of the punishment.  Cuddling is encouraged, though – because who doesn’t want to snuggle up to the person who just beat them?

___________________________________________

Many skeptics think this entire exercise is just BDSM in disguise, wrapped up in extremely conservative Christian-speak to avoid shame caused by the moral restraints of the church. Other call it abuse, plain and simple. Several women who previously practiced CDD have denounced the lifestyle post-divorce, saying they left their marriages because they couldn’t stand the physical or emotional pain any longer. One woman recounted the abject shame of being disciplined in front of her (male) children, who had higher status in the household than she did.

I usually say to each their own, and in the word of Gunmetal Geisha, I try not to “yuck anyone’s yum” no matter how foreign their beliefs appear.  If CDD were actually about BDSM, I’d actually be much more supportive. But BDSM exists because of consensual kink, not a belief that one gender is inherently better than another. In contrast, CDD is a sick charade; an effort to normalize domestic violence with a positive spin. Abuse is abuse, and using religion to manipulate women into believing they deserve it only makes the crime worse.

This is a topic that could easily lend itself to jokes. (I’m tempted to ask whether Jesus spanked Mary Magdalene). But it’s hard to get too jovial when I read this earnest quote from committed practitioner “Vera.” When asked what a man gets out of CDD (besides a woman who obeys his every command), she responded: “He enjoys seeing the person he owns, his property, become the thing God wants her to be.”

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104 responses to “Spanking for Jesus

  1. Oh GOD. This just makes me shudder (not your writing which is excellent as always). I too for a few minutes when reading wondered if this was trying to make s&m okay in this environment… but agree with your assessment. Just another example of the terrible things we can inflict on one another in the name of a higher being.

    Sigh. I think I need to go write a post about my sex toys to try to perk myself up.

    • I know. It’s the way violence is portrayed as love that bothers me most, followed closely by the concept that women are so unevolved we can only be taught through pain.

  2. This is a thing? Holy shit.
    As disturbing as this is, I can’t help but smile at the fact that while this behavior is perfectly acceptable to this group, S&M activities would, no doubt, be frowned upon.

    Hello pot? It’s kettle speaking.

  3. I’m going to try to keep my disgust to a minimal. I was trying to find a way to play the devil’s advocate and say that the same sort of thing goes on in S&M but you beat me to it (pun intended). That this is actually going on does not surprise me, but sickens me.

    • I just don’t understand how or why someone convinced these women they are so weak. I’m all for choosing your choices, and some of these ladies advocate for the lifestyle like crazy and seem proud of how they live… but when I hear quotes like, “My husband may have all the power, but that’s actually a burden that he is selflessly removing from my shoulders. I’m relieved to not have to make all those tough decisions.,” I know something is deeply wrong.

      • I hesitate to say this because of the politically correct culture we live in, but talk to a Muslim woman (an extremely devout one, that is…) about her status as a person, and the way that women are treated. They advocate for that life, too.

        • I think that holds true for extremely conservative people in any religion. I can think of examples who are Muslim, Catholic, Baptist, Mormon. And I can even see my way to understanding a woman who just wants peace, and trusts her husband to handle conflicts and life choices. But I feel like she would speak about it differently if she was actually empowered, instead of just accepting what she’s been told. It would sound like, “We discussed many different relationship dynamics and chose this one based on our personalities,” as opposed to, “He’s the man, so of course he’s in charge, and I’m fine with that.” You know?

          I don’t know much about Eastern religions, but I just found this thought on Hunduism: “Hindu religious philosophy views marriage like a triangle where God is at the apex and the husband and wife are at the other two corners that farm the base of the triangle. As long as the couple is at the base, there is great separation between them. However, when they begin moving towards God together, the distance between them decreases. The man and wife are the two wings of a bird, and if either wings is inferior, weak, or damaged, the bird will fail to fly.”

          That I could get behind, 100%.

          • I have actually heard that philosophy before as well. Hell, even the Christian philosophy of marriage makes sense on paper if you read it all. If you’ve been to any wedding EVER I’m sure you’ve heard that passage from Corinthians about how a woman should love her husband, and how a husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. As in, a man should love a woman enough to die for her. I don’t know — I find the whole religious influence on marriage incredibly patriarchal and power-based, and both men and women who are raised in that culture are of course going to adopt those roles and beliefs, and see nothing amiss.

  4. Way to get my heart rate up and my temper boiling first thing in the morning!!! This is sick. I know some people who have started to retreat into this kind of lifestyle. People I used to be friends with who have become more and more fundamentalist in their beliefs. Some of this mentality is present even in mainstream religions.

    When my sister sought advice from a priest she trusted about divorcing her abusive husband, he told her to not give up on her marriage. Excuse me… he choked her and put a gun to her head and you want her to stay???

    Another person I know whose husband has repeatedly cheated (prostitutes, coworkers, etc) and claims to be a sex addict, was counseled by a church “counselor” to stop being so suspicious of her husband and trust that God won’t allow it to happen any more… What???? To me, this is when religion really starts to become more like a cult.

    And holy crap, what kind of spanking is worse than child birth?

    • The hypocrisy that (can be) present in religion makes me sick, too. It applies to gender roles and also to pretty much everything involving sex. I’ll never forget when a Pope Benedict commanded Cameroonians not to use condoms during sex, even though HIV is rampant in that country. That the head of a church would literally rather see people die than go against a church tenant disgusts me.

  5. I have tried several times to form a coherent, intelligent comment but my elevated blood pressure is causing complete failure. My brain cannot even wrap itself around something so disgusting and perverse. So I guess I will just have to leave it at that.

    • I try very hard to separate Conscientious Christians from Crazy Christians when I talk about them. Loving God and your fellow humans is one thing – a good thing! – but this has nothing to do with love in any form.

  6. … What the what?
    I don’t understand people. Goof grief. Insert other cliche here because, like Sandy, I have no idea how to respond to this. This world is all kinds of messed up, and every day seems to get worse.

  7. Here’s the difference between this and a BDSM relationship:

    ““He enjoys seeing the person he owns, his property, become the thing God wants her to be.””

    That statement would be this:

    “He enjoys seeing the person he has collared, become the person they want to be.”

    This is a dangerous path. The idea that this is for a higher being, and that the man is the only one with the ability to “know” this higher being’s wishes means that there really is no safety zone. There is nothing to stop them from saying, “But this is what God wanted.” The woman has no room to fight against the “invisible” and “silent” will of this higher being using her husband as its instrument.

    • Yes. Perfect. Real love (whether it involves BDSM or not) is about more than consent – it’s about wanting your partner to be fulfilled and not just a vessel for your wishes.

      And you’re right on. The man can change the rules at any time – the woman is never truly safe, no matter how hard she tries. I also found a few stories of men punishing their wives in public, to add to the shame of having “erred” – that is nothing but a sick power play.

    • It’s real, but I wouldn’t call it a “life.” I’ve looked through some of the CDD wives’ blogs, and they write about how the spanking saves them the trouble of having long conversations about their transgressions. More or less, they say, “He hits me, it’s resolved, and we move on!”

      So then… what lesson is even learned? One woman wrote about a particularly hard spanking and admitted that she couldn’t even remember what it was for.

  8. I think I’m going to be sick… Oh my god that’s so (pardon the French) FUCKED UP. I need to sit down and look at puppies for a while now.

        • I almost never follow the news anymore, for exactly this reason. There are too many hurts that I can’t heal. If I’m powerless to help, then I just don’t want to know… it might sound selfish or shallow, given that some people are actually living the things I don’t even want to hear about, but I think I do more good by saving my energy and spending it on the few social causes I’ve really claimed as mine – ones where I can actually effect some change.

  9. I read the whole freaking ‘packet’ (when having a bad day, why not make it worse?!) and my favorite bit says it’s the submissive’s job to reassure the dominant that the spanking was the right thing to do. That it wasn’t too hard “and most commonly, the spankings aren’t hard enough.” Let him beat your ass (literally) and then, if he has a shred of humanity left and feels bad, reassure him and bolster his self-esteem. Un. Be. Lievable.

    • That was EXACTLY the point where I had to stop reading and back away! Yes, by all means, put the onus on the victimized partner to assure her “Master” that she still loves him and knows she deserved to be hurt.

      • Was that before or after the pros and cons and “stings” were examined with clothed, underwear clad, or naked buttocks (and THIGHS)?

        I need to watch sleeping puppies now. Ugh.

        • I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t read it.

          In the packet-couple’s blog, the wife writes about the time her husband bought capsaicin cream (made from the stuff in hot peppers) so the spankings would sting more.

          Time for ALL the sleepy baby animals!

  10. My parents trashed my self-esteem throughout my childhood, and I still can’t imagine getting to a place where I would have accepted this. I’m not judging, I’m just so sad trying to imagine what their lives have been like, to lead them to endure this, and worse, embrace it.

    • My hope is that they are passing through a life stage, exploring one (fucked up) way of being, and will grow out of it with time and learn to be an equal partner (with their current husband or… not).

      Most of the women I see talking about CDD online are very young, and that makes me hopeful in a weird way. I was also insecure and easily swayed when I was 24.

  11. I’ve read about this before. Un-freaking-believable. What year is this again? Jesus said “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Not “Husbands, beat your wives as Christ beat the church into perfect, unquestioning submission.” This kind of behavior strips wives of their personhood. Nothing about it is healthy and I have a really hard time believing that Jesus would condone it.

    • Hello! My heart gave an extra beat when I saw your name – I wasn’t sure you were around anymore!

      And yes, you hit the nail on the head. Labeling this as something Christian does a major disservice to the majority who follow that religion.

      • Still around. Just mostly lurking. It’s been a busy year. 🙂

        Back on topic, I find myself wondering how many couples who practice this come from backgrounds of physical or sexual abuse. I imagine this is more common in very fundamental households, and we all know that those are usually pretty rife with all kinds of abuse. (Looking at you, FLDS!) I don’t know a lot about psychology but I do know that none of the healthy, functioning, well-adjusted adults I know would ever consider something like this for their marriages.

        • I don’t know. I have the same misgivings you do about how women end up willing to accept this… but I’m also hesitant to call women I’ve never met “victims.”

          I really just don’t know.

  12. I am shuddering in response to this. It is just SO awful. As long as things are consensual, that’s fine, but abuse is never, ever okay. And neither is owning another human being. Just ick.

    • Exactly. What is this but glorified slavery? Women do not exist to meet the whims of men, and pretending this is done for any woman’s personal growth is a farce.

    • There’s no freaking way. Jesus was all about forgiveness, and you didn’t see him smacking Mary Magdalene even though she was a prostitute, which I am SURE would go against the “morals” of these “Head of Household” types. Jesus was into helping people find their path to grace, not punishing them for every misstep.

  13. Jennie, I had NEVER heard of this before and couldn’t believe it. But then I got thinking about all of the other patriarchal religions where women are expected to accept, without question, what the men dictate. I understand that they may truly believe their particular religion — and maybe they are even happy — or maybe they just don’t know better or know there are other options. But I could never condone letting a man have total control of my life.

    • The only way I can believe they are truly happy is to think that their whole lives have been full of this doctrine. If you’ve never known anything else, you content yourself with what you’re used to.

  14. The worst rule-breaking was moving money between accounts without permission?
    That’s “rule breaking”? What about killing a person? Where would that rank?

    This kind of shit gives spanking a bad name.

    • What about if she finally snaps and kills the “Master” by bashing his head in with the wooden paddle he was using on her? Perhaps, since we’re being so archaic, his brother should step in to save her from widowhood.

    • I know, Lizzi. This hasn’t the slightest thing to do with Good.

      Although another aspect of it that makes me even sadder is some of the blogs reporting that the husbands were very, very reluctant to enter the practice originally. They dreaded the thought of punishing their wives, but forced themselves to do it based on the advice of people they trusted, people who said it would make their marriage better.

      In those cases, the men aren’t monsters… they’re just as manipulated as the women, and it sickens me to think that good men are being taught how to abuse in the name of any form of Christianity.

      • The path to hell is paved with the skulls of bad priests. There better be fucking MILLSTONES for the people who bully good folk into accepting this as any kind of way to live.

        (maybe not monsters, but you have to SERIOUSLY question their critical thinking skills…deception’s such a bastard. And deception in the name of God, I am quite sure, counts as blasphemy)

  15. I was about three paragraphs in until I realized that you weren’t kidding. That this was serious. I’m convinced that organized religion does far more harm than good in society. That big, hot mess in the middle east right now? That’s religion.

    If anyone ever hits my daughter with a spanking buddy I’ll kick his fucking teeth in. Then I’ll get her some therapy to find out why she hates herself so much.

    • It reads like satire. And while I respect people following whatever beliefs make them feel good – as long as they’re not hurting anyone else through them – I’m 100% with you on organized religion doing more harm than good. Girls not attending school, people believing its a sin to dance (Hello, Footloose!), and now this…

      I think yours is the appropriate response. Where are these women’s families?

  16. I tripped over this group when I was researching stuff to get over the abusive church I had been in for a number of years. It made my mouth feel sour. At first I though it was a parody. No.

      • I don’t think I felt either way. I was just totally revolted and puzzled by it. I’ve seen so much religious abuse. In fact, I have moved away from a lot of traditional religion because of the man-made horrors people have made of it. Most of my adult life looks like: finds a church and it seems good; church moves in a less helpful direction and creates rules about how they are right and everyone else is wrong; start moving toward the exit and endure the shunning and shaming from members; start all over again.

        I found an author that condensed it into something that makes sense to me:

        “One of the great surprises is that the fire of mysticism can melt even the rigor mortis of dogmatism, legalism, and ritualism. By the glance or touch of those whose hearts are burning, doctrine, ethics, and ritual come aglow with truth, goodness, and beauty of the original fire. The dead letter comes alive, breathing freedom.” – David Steindl-Rast

        • That quote is beautiful and, if I’m interpreting it correctly, I agree. I think therein – in the spark of true, unsullied belief – lies the hope for organized religion.

          • Yes! that is one way of putting it. The joy in it leaves when it becomes nothing more than a list of rules and regulations.

    • That’s the top response I’m getting to this post. I’m guessing if the folks who are into this lifestyle saw these comments, they’d say we’re all just close-minded. To which I would respond, “YOU LET YOUR HUSBAND BEAT YOU WITH A WOODEN SPOON.”

    • I will never understand the world. It feels like my catchphrase these days is “people are fascinating” – not necessarily good or evil, but interesting beyond what my brain could imagine.

  17. I saw this a while ago, and I honestly cried. I have no idea how someone can opt in to live this life of torture, abuse and violence and even worse, advertise it to other people as a handy dandy package in honor of an imaginary man in the clouds, when so many people die or live,wishing they were dead each day, or are recovering for decades – from the exact same thing…

    • I’m very curious who started this movement. I can’t find any sort of history for it, but it has to have some origin point. I’d bet money that the person who really worked to make it catch on is an unsavory type.

  18. I’m seriously too horrified by all of this to think of a proper comment. It’s disgusting that anyone would want to then raise their kid up to perpetuate that sort of behavior.

    • I think that was the single worst thing for me – hearing from the woman who was required to apologize to both her sons as well as her husband any time she “broke a rule.”

      Seriously, those kids are going to have a hard time finding healthy relationships for themselves. Also, the amount of quotations marks I had to use in this post and the comments is out of control, but I cannot write things like BROKE A RULE with a straight face.

  19. Okay … I feel an attack of non-PCness coming on. Please bear with me. I am also horrified by this, and as a Christian I am dismayed that it’s being practiced in Christ’s name.

    But … I don’t agree that it’s not just another “shade of grey”. They can dress it up all they like in religious flummery, it’s still BDSM practiced between consenting adults. I don’t see that you can say the women are victims simply because you perceive them as, first, victims of a religious dogma you don’t like. They’re adults; they’re free and literate enough to have blogs and express their opinions (which means they have access to the internet and, hence, to alternative opinions), and they’re actively embracing this lifestyle.

    Where the women involved are NOT consenting, and are being forced into this kind of relationship, then I agree, it’s abuse just like any other form of abuse. And again the religious flummery – whether it’s Christian, Moslem, or anything else – is just one element in the whole picture. Every abuse victim has chains binding them to their abuser, whether they’re social, religious, or personal.

    I guess I am mainly bothered by what I perceive as a view, expressed by several commenters that, if BDSM doesn’t have a religious element, then it’s just fine and we should all mind our own business and let the consenting adults do their own thing … but if it’s being done in the name of religion, there seems to be a perception that even the women who support it are victims and, by implication, too brainwashed to know better. If I’m interpreting the comments above correctly, that’s pretty judgmental! And, with all due respect, I question whether every non-religious BDSM relationship is fully consensual. I have absolutely no doubt that those relationships run the gamut from consensual to abusive.

    • First off, I don’t find this non-PC at all. You’ve made me think more deeply – I’m a fan. Now, on to my opinion! 🙂

      You’re right – I am full of double standards. I majored in anthropology but – no matter how many times I was taught cultural relativity – I could never agree that female genital mutilation is OK, even though it’s a tradition perpetuated on girls by other women. I mention this example because I think the key to my own judgments is entirely about consent. An amorphous “culture” may accept a practice, but I care about what each individual thinks. A young girl simply isn’t able to decide whether she wants her clitoris removed. Similarly, I absolutely think women should have the right to choose to wear a veil, hijab, or burka to follow their religious beliefs, but I get very uncomfortable as soon as it is required of them, with consequences if they refuse. If you have to wear a burka or be shunned by your culture and family, is that really a choice made freely?

      Back to your point – the women blogging about CDD have access to the internet, and seem very proud of their lifestyle. That’s certainly a different story than the ones I just mentioned. I bring them up, though, to illustrate the idea that accepting something and making the best of it isn’t the same as actively choosing it. I would guess (key word = guess) that many women in CDD relationships were raised in the extremely conservative end of the Christian church. If they’ve been taught their whole lives that women have a certain place, and will be judged harshly if they stray from it, are they really choosing to let their husbands have total control over them, or is it just the only thing they know? Meanwhile, BDSM is a kink, and although it’s become less taboo of late, it’s certainly not a lifestyle any child is raised from birth to emulate. I’m sure you’re right that there are some non-consensual relationships where one partner calls their actions BSDM but the other partner feels abused. Even so, the victim in a BDSM relationship gone wrong only has to defy their partner to escape, as opposed to a woman practicing CDD who likely worries she would also create distance between herself and her church, family, etc.

      To end my long-winded response (and I’m hoping you’ll give me one in return), I know I’m being judgmental, but I’m doing it based on my best knowledge of cultural norms, and not some gut reaction. Sometimes things truly are bad, and need to be judged. I don’t want to re-create the mistakes of some feminists who fight for women’s right to choose and then insult women who decide to be stay-at-home moms… but I do think this particular set-up has a high likelihood of hurting far more women than it fulfills.

  20. Hi, Jennie – thanks for responding…:)

    First off, I agree that female circumcision is just WRONG. So is forcing young girls into marriage, bigamous or otherwise, as still happens in some cultures. So is selling girls into sexual slavery, which ALSO happens, as you know. So is (was? I hope!) foot-binding. And this kind of abuse is not limited to girls. But these abuses are perpetrated against children, who don’t have the power or the knowledge to choose. Even if they know that choices are possible, they are economically and physically disempowered, in addition to being subject to moral and social pressure.

    I agree that it is hugely difficult even for an informed, relatively empowered adult to stand against the social pressure of their group. Few of us would have the courage to say, “No, I’m not going to do that, I’m not going to let you do it to me,” and risk being criticized, mocked, even shunned – and without a support network and resources outside the group, it must be daunting indeed. Whether you’re coming out of the closet, converting to or abandoning a faith, marrying outside your racial or social or economic tribe, or in any other way embracing a taboo or bucking the norm, when you step outside the group it’s like a little death.

    Please don’t think I’m diminishing the challenges facing people involved in the bizarre relationships you discuss in your post. BUT I think we non-members of their group must be very, very careful not to assume that, deep down inside, they really want to be “free” to be just like us. I used to belong to a church that strongly promoted the concept of “the husband as the head of the home” (not to the extent of physical dominance, but certainly supportive of husbands who wanted a LOT of control) and many of the women I knew were comfortable and happy and secure in those relationships, and didn’t feel at all diminished or demeaned.

    I think that what’s important is for those of us who have different values or philosophies, who belong to different kinds of groups, to provide a lighthouse for those who want to escape from a situation where they are unhappy. We should tell them – for instance by blogging, or befriending, or in whatever other way works – that there are alternative little islands of life out there. And we should reinforce that by being willing to provide a harbor if they decide to row their boat across. But at all times we must respect their right to choose a lifestyle that we would find entirely appalling.

    • I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said here, and you said it exceptionally clearly and compassionately. It would surely put me more at ease to meet (in person) some women who live their lives this way and genuinely like it – it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s fake on the internet.

      In any case, you’re right. Assuming these wives proclaim their own contentment, I shouldn’t assume I know better and try to “save” them, any more than a very conservative person should assume a gay person just needs help to be “retrained” into heterosexuality. This particular case is VERY difficult for me to accept, given the history of women’s subjugation and the stories I read of women who really tried to accept the lifestyle until they couldn’t take it anymore, and subsequently denounced it… but the crux of the issue does lie, as always, in taking every individual at their word. It’s their life. Thank you for adding that piece to this conversation.

  21. OMG. You know, I think I try really hard not to be aware of stuff like this, because (like you) I’m not sure my background in cultural relativity can extend that far. It makes me angry enough when my mother tries to remind me that woman is made from Adam’s rib and was the original sinner and therefore it is her lot to be ruled by man and she has to take what comes with that… But even she wouldn’t take it that far. BDSM. I guess there’s a place for that argument, but it does make me uneasy when there’s a whole ideology and lifestyle cloaked around it. Gah.

    • It must be very hard to hear that from your mother. When we love the women in our lives so much and see them living under made-up restrictions, but can’t say too much because we don’t want to offend their deeply held beliefs… that can be incredibly difficult to stomach.

  22. Oh my. So at first I was totally (internally) cracking jokes, but you’re right. This is not funny at all. Rather, it’s quite sick. It gives me hope to hear that some women have seen the error in the CDD ways and moved on, though!

    • I know I’ve said this before in comments, but my go-to explanation for behavior I just don’t “get” has become, “People are fascinating.”

      That word sums up everything from unbelievably dumb to incredibly interesting, without being rude. So yeah… CDD is fascinating.

  23. this is nothing more than sanctioned (by a bizarre interpretation of the bible and christianity’s teachings) of Master and Slave S&M–with the important caveat that this is not agreed to by both parties, and, that little difference makes this nothing more than legitimized abuse on women just for being women.

    • But apparently it is agreed on by both parties… at least the reading materials about it tell couples it has to be a mutual choice. The entire thing is, to me, a very murky grey area.

  24. I wrote a very lengthy response to this excellent blog post. Jennie, who blogs at https://jenniesaia.wordpress.com/ writes excellent, thoughtful posts and a wide array of subjects. Read this post and like it- if you’ve not heard about this practice, I promise it will be an eye-opener, and I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions!

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