The Day Vegemite Spoke to Me

So, this happened. I’m sharing for two reasons:

  1. Hannah is as weird as I am, and that’s awesome. Her Twitter handle is @feellikepdiddy, which is about to become extremely relevant. (C’mon, you know that song!)
  2. The Vegemite people talked to us!

1 2 3 4 5 6

Aren’t we adorable?


The second-best thing to happen yesterday is that J called me from his car, and tried to plug his phone in to charge while we were talking. For some unknown reason, his phone took that as a cue to play music from iTunes, and he couldn’t stop it without hanging up. So there we stayed, with me intent on recounting the entire Vegemite story and J not laughing nearly as much as he should have and, the whole time, the resounding chords of “Red and Black” from Les Miz were playing at a furiously high volume in the background:

Jennie: “So then they said, “What about crisp apple strudel? They totally played the game!”


J: “But wait, so then who brought up Scar?”


Jennie: “Hannah did! Because she’s hilarious. And then we got into deep Illuminati politics.”


J: “Listen. I love you so much. So much. But this conversation is the most annoying experience of my entire life. I have to go before I run someone over in a French Rebellion-fueled rage.”



91 responses to “The Day Vegemite Spoke to Me

  1. Oh. My. Gosh. I’m wheezing trying not to laugh at that last part. The first part is still funny, but I can’t find myself too hilarious or people will judge.

    I like to think the soundtrack from either Les Mis, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Lord of the Rings, is playing in the background of most of my twitter interactions.

  2. … So many questions:
    Why did J’s phone start playing Les Mis in the first place? Had he been listening to it before? And he’d stopped in the middle of Red and Black? (You can’t stop in the middle of that song, it’s against more rules of physics than I can name in the comments section). Does he often listen to Les Mis? Does he often find himself in a french revolution fueled rage? (Also, despite how the song ends, wouldn’t it be more fitting to call it a true love fueled craze?)
    How have I never realized that Scar was trying to warn us about the illuminati? And the Boy scouts too? I guess I’ve been one of those idiots/fools…
    How awesome is it that the Vegemite people played along with all that silliness? Almost makes me want to try some again… Almost.

    • J is a big musical aficionado. Dead sexy, that is. And it started at the beginning of the track apparently, but I couldn’t hear it until the chorus really came in.

      As for the Illuminati – they are everywhere. Everywhere. There’s even little bits of them in Vegemite, if the rumors are true.

      • Everywhere?
        So, I could be an illuminate spy?
        Interesting… perhaps I am.
        You’ve been warned!

        Hooray for musicals! Les Mis is my favorite… love the book, love the movies, love the musical.

  3. Okay, I nearly laughed out loud at the last part. Your husband is awesome.

    P.S. I hope he didn’t actually run over anyone in a french rebellion fuelled rage. Or any rage, really.

  4. Hahahaha! I love the miraculous nature of twitterverse. So much potential geniousity (<<yup. Made that one up) and of course hystericalisms (<<that one too.)

  5. I would just like to state for the record that it was JUST BELOW that tweet that I joined the conversation. You two are my internet besties.

  6. OMG…this was awesome AND I can say that I was there when it started. Er, kinda–I didn’t check Twitter until this morning and it had been a few days.
    Oh the small world that social media makes. When I finally looked at Twitter, there you were! Little did I know that your first tweet (it had me in stitches by the way) would lead to such a perfect conversation and delightful second story. I had to end at baby tears and wrestler sweat because I remembered a) that I love my baby and b) my baby is actually 14 and he needed to get to (you guessed it) summer wrestling work-outs! Crap! Twitter was going to make me late!

    Seriously, you can’t make this awesomeness up!!!
    Loved it, Jennie. You rock!!

    • Ha! You are one tiny degree of separation from one of the world’s most loathed breakfast spreads. (Of course, I suppose you could just eat some and then there’d be no separation at all!)

      Also, I am really glad to know how your mind works, because it’s eerily familiar. I get through most of my days because one things reminds me of another thing (very different) at the very last minute!

  7. It’s great when someone/something famous acknowledges your existence isn’t it? I don’t know why but I get right giddy when it happens to me. I’ve offended a smug TV chef, bantered with an annoying TV presenter and made someone with incurable MR disease smile, so I’m NOT wasting my life diddling around on social media, OK?

    Vegemite rocks, it’s even better than Marmite (one to the Aussies), my recent spread crush is this stuff though, oh my days it’s good…

    • I want details! Names! The smuggest TV chefs I can think of are Robert Irvine and Bobby Flay, but I know there are many, many more.

      I suppose I shouldn’t know it ’til I’ve tried it. But I’m about as doubtful as it’s humanly possible to be. That cookie spread, though! They sell it in obscenely enormous containers at my local Costco, and I’m trying to resist! No one needs a gallon of cookie spread! Unless I want to bathe in it… hmmmm…

      • It was that Ludo what sit, he was an arrogant, bullying arsehole on the UK voice, i was itching for someone to lamp him upside the head with a skillet and pretty much told him so.

  8. I refuse to travel without my Vegemite. Thankfully most customs people must feel pity at me and let me bring it into the country because I’m sure I look like puss in boots when they question why I have Vegemite.

    • That’s absolutely precious. You are channeling my mom right now – she takes half of what she owns everywhere she goes, because she needs her brand of tea, her pillow, etc.

      Also, the Puss in Boots face is a serious weapon. I once got a large gel candle through customs because I said it was a good-luck-in-love Santeria candle for my best friend, and she REALLY needed it. The guard laughed and let me through.

      • The guards laughed at me too. I think it was the teary puss in boots eyes. I kid you not.

        Try to separate an Australian from her Vegemite and there be tears and possibly throwing myself on the floor tantrums lol

        Oh yes, I think I get your mum! I travel with my brand of tea too. And pillow. And cup, because gods only know where their cups have been and who hasn’t really washed it.

        I blame my mother for my OCD.

  9. You’re so clever! I see those Sound of Music drops! I love reading your stuff.

    Nutella is a SCAM. My daughters eat that stuff. Healthy nutty flavor my ass. It’s chocolate frosting.

  10. Oh, curses that I don’t go on Twitter anymore! I can only handle one social media addiction, and currently it’s the Book of Face. And blog(s) of course.
    Twitter is addicting. Vegemite is disgusting. Nutella is overrated. And the Illuminati are everywhere (cleverly working themselves even into THIS POST (pssst! The secret password is “Beyonces poops Butterscotch”)

  11. I love conversations in musicals. Sounds like a perfect twitterlove connection. Your husband seemslike my kind of guy…I mean, he sounds like a good one. I think I might actually eat Vegemite if my husband called with Les Mis playing in the background. I’d also be riding on a flying pig or some other nevergonnahappen cliche.

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